The End

As my last days were approaching I tried to keep it out of my mind that I do have to go back to Mississippi at some point. I got to spend this week helping build a house, visiting the orphanages, and taking an orphanage to the water park. My last week was filled with love, laughs and God.

I am not ready to leave. I am so beyond blessed to have this experience once again. But I'm afraid it will never feel like enough time here. On our way home from dinner tonight I started crying and Kenia (the translator who has spent all day every day with me) said "You just have to know that this isn't God's time for you to be here. He has a plan for you, and you just have to be patient." And I know that's true. But it doesn't make it any easier to leave the kids and friends I have here. There are so many stories I could write about, but at this moment I can't think of any. I want to explain the hopelessness and sadness I feel daily here. I also want to explain the joy and the power of God that I feel here. There is such a war going on inside of me that I don't know where to start or what to say. All I can do is pray that the people who are called here keep doing God's will, and that one day I may be a bigger part in that.

Yesterday I spent the entire day holding my favorite baby. I rocked him, fed him, and changed him. It was perfect. And all I could do was pray that he would somehow grow up and be a Godly man who does something amazing with his life... I hugged my little angel who is physically handicap because of her abusive parents, and I thought about the progress she has made in the past year. Hugging her for the last time was more difficult than I can ever explain (I cry just remembering it.).. And I know I should be excited to get home and see my friends and family. But I'm not. I'm not at all. I'm torn up inside that I have to leave these kids... I think about sweet Christian whom we built the house for. I think about Glenda and her mom (the girls I've seen all five years) and the miracle that their lives are... I think about so many kids. So many people. And I just know I want to be part of this. This is where my heart is.

But, I do have to head back to Mississippi tomorrow. A new chapter in my life is beginning and I know God has big plans. Please keep me in your prayers tomorrow as I fly home. And thank you all for another year of wonderful support.

Matthew 11:28-30

The past few weeks have been very random. Amazing, but random. We've spent each day at different orphanages. It's been far different from last year because there haven't been teams here so I've been able to kind of make my own schedule.

I've been praying a lot about the future and where God is calling me. There's been a lot going on back home that I've been worried about, and I've been feeling the spiritual warfare here much stronger than I've ever felt it. I have also gotten to spend time with more missionaries here and hear their stories. I honestly haven't written in so long because I haven't known what to write. I don't know how to put into words what has been going on. But last week at church a lady prayed over me and one of the translators, and she prayed specifically that I would be able to give the Lord my worries and do whatever He calls me to do. Almost immediately I felt relieved. During the sermon the pastor mentioned Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart ,and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." It is much easier said than done. But that's what I've worked on this week.

A new baby arrived at one of the orphanages- he is a month old. His parents left him at the hospital so he was brought to the orphanage. Leaving a baby at the hospital isn't too uncommon here and it absolutely kills me inside every time it happens. But for some reason I felt a strange sense of peace as I held him Thursday. I prayed that he would overcome all of the problems I know will come along with being abandoned and growing up as an orphan. 

This weekend I had the privilege of showing my dad a few of the orphanages and he got to visit the house we built while my mom and siblings were in town. I love having him here and introducing him to this part of my life. 
Please keep my last week in your prayers.