"We cannot fathom His plan"

As I have mentioned before, last year I spent every other day at CIPI, which is supposed to be a halfway orphanage type of place. The kids will go there when they are waiting for their court date to decide where they are going for sure. I always spent time with the babies, and the older teenage girls. But I never spent time with the special needs kids. Mainly just because I had my days so carefully planned out, and I never got the chance to go spend time with them.

Thursday we were at CIPI, and we were giving the usual tour for the new group. When we came to the special needs area I immediately went to a little girl who was in the most precious flowered dress. She just smiled and held my hand as I sat next to her. I cannot explain to you why I went to her. There were plenty of other kids I could have gone to, but God obviously led me to her.. Lilly (the translator) started to tell me that the little girl hasn't been a special needs child her whole life. In fact, she was born without any problems. Her mom decided she didn't want to take care of her after she was born, so she would leave food laying on the ground and go to work. So if the baby got hungry she would have to find a way to get to the food. Her mom would hit her and abuse her horribly if she ever cried or just got on her mom's nerves. The little girl now has an S shaped spine, can't really use her left arm, and her right elbow is popped out and you can see where the bone kind of sticks up. I figured out that she loves to be pushed around in one of the wheel chairs. She is so smart and she loves to hold the leaves from the bushes around the building. I eventually had to leave and put her back in the special needs area. She was crying hysterically when I was leaving. It absolutely broke my heart.

As usual, a child here is suffering because of their parents. She did not do anything to deserve the life she is now living. Her mom was selfish and stupid. And now she can't even have a normal childhood.

I left feeling completely hopeless... As much as I love it here, some days I just think "why am I even trying?" It just feels like there are so many problems, and so many things that have already happened, and I can't do anything. I am in this random country, trying to tell kids about Jesus, and all I come across are kids who are spending their life suffering because of their parents. And then I read "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you may go." -Joshua 1:9... MAN does God have a way of knowing what we need to hear.

Today we went to the boys orphanage, and the one boy I became close with (who ran away from home) sat and talked with me and then hit a beach ball around with me for a while. It was such a nice reminder that if I can talk to even one kid while I am here, I'm doing SOMETHING.