Year 5-Let's go!

I can never sleep the night before I head to El Sal... I'm too nervous and excited. I never feel as if I'm fully prepared. But if there's one thing I have learned after all of these years it is that God has a plan I could never imagine, and if I just trust Him then everything is going to work out.

This year I had to plan for 6 other people, which was definitely a new experience. I'm excited to share what/who I love in El Salvador with a few people I love from the States. I also just found out that my dad will be coming down for a few days over my birthday weekend! That means that this year I get to share El Salvador with the majority of my family!

I love El Salvador. I love the country- it is beyond beautiful with its volcanoes and beaches. I love the people. I love the food... And I am so thankful that God has given me so many opportunities to go to the place I love. I have been able to watch a few kids grow up in the past few years, and I have also made new friends each year. Every day in ES is quite the adventure. I am very excited to get this years adventure started.

I have to leave for the airport soon so keep us in your prayers today as we travel! Also, let's pray I don't get another parasite this year :)

A God Thing

I like to refer to most of my trips here as "A God thing". I could go into story after story of all of the miracles and crazy things that have led me to the point where I am now. But last night takes the cake.

If any of you have kept up with my past trips then you know the names Glenda, Taty, Marta and Miguel. (Taty is the girl who inspired the tattoo I want, for anyone who has heard that story.) They all lived at the Promise House, where I would stay or spend most of my time the past three years I have come down. They were the only four who were there all three years. (Glenda is Taty's daughter, and Miguel is Marta's son.) I have been praying for them all year because the day they shut down the Promise House I didn't find out where either of them went. I thought this would be the first summer I wouldn't get to see them. Then I found a picture on Taty's facebook and found out she was living with a missionary named Beth. Kurt said he knew her and they worked together a lot. I felt more at peace knowing, at least, Taty and Glenda were safe. A few days later one of the translators told me that she saw Marta leaving a school a few weeks ago. So, I knew she was probably living somewhere that was good.

This week's group left early to go work in another part of El Salvador, so I spent all of yesterday painting the special needs room at CIPI. Last night I was laying in bed, at 8, almost asleep when Kurt came up and asked if I wanted to go feed the homeless. I was a little confused at first, considering we didn't have a group, but I walked downstairs and see Beth! Then I look over and see Marta! In sheer excitement we both freaked out a little bit and hugged and talked about Miguel. Then I look over and Taty is on the other side of the table! She actually shreaked when she saw me! The fact that they remember me, even if they just remembered my face, was AMAZING. Then Taty started asking about my cousin (who was with me last year) and it was so nice to know she actually did remember me and when I was here. I got to go feed the homeless with them and it was so incredible.

I asked Beth about what happened to them after I left, and she said they both ended up in an orphanage where they abused the children. She said Glenda and Miguel had bruises all over them. Taty ran away with Glenda, and because she was 20 they didn't worry about it. She lived on the streets for a few weeks before she finally got in touch with Beth and moved in with her. Beth said Glenda didn't even have shoes when she got them... To hear that, to know they had to deal with that just breaks my heart... So Marta was at the orphanage for a few weeks after Taty left and they would punish Marta by taking away food for 2 or 3 days. She lost about 60 pounds while in that orphanage. Then she ran away, but she was 17 so the orphanage freaked out. Beth helped hide her until her 18th birthday, when she and Miguel moved in with Beth... As we fed the homeless I just couldn't help but think that these girls were living like this at one point.. My favorite girls, the ones who have inspired me to do all of this, were abused and hungry and alone. But God saved them. Beth was the answer to my prayers. All year I have prayed that those two girls in particular would end up somewhere safe and Godly. And, thanks to Beth, they did.

Today I got to go see Glenda and Miguel at the house! :) As soon as I got out of the car Miguel ran and gave me a hug and told me he loves me. Glenda always takes a little bit of time to warm up to me. But Beth said the first thing Glenda said this morning was "Lydia's coming to see me!" To hear that, and know that these kids remember me, almost made me cry. What a blessing. And what an incredible way to end my trip.

Thank you for all of your support and prayers. I know God has had this plan all along. He gave me such peace today. I can now go back home and know that they are all safe and happy. Please keep me in your prayers today as I finish painting and Saturday as I head home.

My Last Week

As I'm coming into my 6th and final week here I am attempting to prepare myself to leave. And it's not going very well. Usually by my last few days here I have started to think about all of my friends and family and I am ready to go home. But that is not the situation this year. I think it is partially because of the way we do so many different things here. It doesn't feel like I have been here for 6 weeks. It feels like I've been here for 2.

I'm getting the opportunity to paint the special needs room at CIPI (where the little girl I love lives) and I am too excited. We have decided to do little swirly flowers in different, bright colors (there will be plenty pictures on Facebook once we finish). But tonight I was trying to decide what Bible verse we should paint on the walls, and I came across Philippians 1:9-10 "And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blamesless until the day of Christ." This is so fitting for how I feel about the kids here. I just pray that God gives them the knowledge to make good decisions and do good with their lives.

In the past few days I have found myself losing patience extremely easily. And that is not normal for me when it comes to kids. Anyone who knows me knows that I am more comfortable with kids than anyone else. It may just be that I'm on edge because I'm leaving, and it may be because I've got a cold and I'm just agitated that I'm sick my last week. But then I read Philippians 2: 14-15 "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe." Oh man, does God know how to hit me. I need to focus less on myself. Especially in this last week. God has given me peace. There is absolutey no need for me to ever be short with people. I am here to glorify God.

I still haven't settled on one verse for the room. I'm really thinking about 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud and it is not rude. It is not self seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (Mom, you'll be glad to know I just did that by memory.)

Please keep me in your prayers this week so that God can show me what I'm supposed to be doing in my last few days here. Thank you again for all of your support. It means so much to hear that anyone has been reading this, or that people want to come with me next summer. God is always working.

The Tough Days

Today was another rough one. When there are groups here they typically split up and go into different areas of CIPI. I tend to spend most of my time in special needs with my little girl. But today I felt like I needed to stay in the baby area. As I was sitting there with a few other people, one of the girls  started to open up to us about what happened to her. She said she was molested by two of her uncles and got pregnant. She's not sure who's baby it is. She ran away from home, and ended up in the hospital. At first she wanted to get an abortion. But then the nurses talked her out of it and she said about a month before she had the baby she accepted the fact that she was going to be a mother. She knew that it was God's plan.. This girl is 13. A 13 year old is making that decision.. So we talked to her, and we talked about what a blessing her baby is.

There is a baby there who we all love because she is just the perfect age; 4 months. So you can hold and cuddle her, but she'll smile at you too. Virginia told us that the baby's mother tried to kill her by sitting on her. Thankfully she survived.... A few hours later I was rocking one of the new borns, and a lady came and asked if anyone wanted to help pray over the baby who was leaving. Apparently the baby's mother came to take her home. And they let her... Who in the world lets a mother who tried to kill her baby, have that baby back?

I know God has a plan. I know He does. But right now I'm having trouble getting past the horrible sin this world has. And I need everyone to pray for that baby. I'm just praying her mother had a change of heart, and found the Lord.

"Be still and know that I am God"

This week has been pretty rough. I had a complete break down Tuesday night. If I could explain it, I would. I guess it's just hard to hear all of the stories and know all of the kids, and not be able to do anything except love them. And I'm sure that sounds like it's enough... But it's not. When you are sitting there trying to explain to a child that was abused and betrayed by everyone who was supposed to take care of him that God loves him, you can't help but think you are doing absolutely nothing.

"Be strong. Banish fear and doubt. Remember the Lord is with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9
"When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher that I." -Psalm 61:2
"When I felt my feet slipping, You came with Your love and kept me steady." -Psalm 94:18
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." -2 Timothy 1:7

Remiding myself that God has me here for a reason... Even if that reason is to fix myself... I cannot beat myself up over problems that I cannot fix. God has a plan for every person on this planet. Every single one. So maybe I will never know the plan He has for each of these children. The important thing is that He knows... This past week we spent a lot of time at the boys orphanage, and my prayer for this weekend is that each of those boys grows into a strong, Godly man.

"We cannot fathom His plan"

As I have mentioned before, last year I spent every other day at CIPI, which is supposed to be a halfway orphanage type of place. The kids will go there when they are waiting for their court date to decide where they are going for sure. I always spent time with the babies, and the older teenage girls. But I never spent time with the special needs kids. Mainly just because I had my days so carefully planned out, and I never got the chance to go spend time with them.

Thursday we were at CIPI, and we were giving the usual tour for the new group. When we came to the special needs area I immediately went to a little girl who was in the most precious flowered dress. She just smiled and held my hand as I sat next to her. I cannot explain to you why I went to her. There were plenty of other kids I could have gone to, but God obviously led me to her.. Lilly (the translator) started to tell me that the little girl hasn't been a special needs child her whole life. In fact, she was born without any problems. Her mom decided she didn't want to take care of her after she was born, so she would leave food laying on the ground and go to work. So if the baby got hungry she would have to find a way to get to the food. Her mom would hit her and abuse her horribly if she ever cried or just got on her mom's nerves. The little girl now has an S shaped spine, can't really use her left arm, and her right elbow is popped out and you can see where the bone kind of sticks up. I figured out that she loves to be pushed around in one of the wheel chairs. She is so smart and she loves to hold the leaves from the bushes around the building. I eventually had to leave and put her back in the special needs area. She was crying hysterically when I was leaving. It absolutely broke my heart.

As usual, a child here is suffering because of their parents. She did not do anything to deserve the life she is now living. Her mom was selfish and stupid. And now she can't even have a normal childhood.

I left feeling completely hopeless... As much as I love it here, some days I just think "why am I even trying?" It just feels like there are so many problems, and so many things that have already happened, and I can't do anything. I am in this random country, trying to tell kids about Jesus, and all I come across are kids who are spending their life suffering because of their parents. And then I read "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you may go." -Joshua 1:9... MAN does God have a way of knowing what we need to hear.

Today we went to the boys orphanage, and the one boy I became close with (who ran away from home) sat and talked with me and then hit a beach ball around with me for a while. It was such a nice reminder that if I can talk to even one kid while I am here, I'm doing SOMETHING.

But You love me anyway.

Yesterday we went to a community on the beach where we are building a house, and made hot dogs for everyone. We got to feed hundreds of people! If that's not God working, I don't know what is.

Last night I went with the group to feed the homeless. Feeding the homeless is possibly my favorite thing to do. Aside from the adventure of riding in the back of a pick up truck throughout San Salvador, it is amazing to see how many people are living with nothing. And they are so grateful for what we give them. At one stop an elderly lady held my hand and just kept saying "God bless you" until we left. At the next stop a girl around 12 came up to the side of the truck and asked my name, which was a little surpising since most of the homeless just say thank you and go sit down. At that same stop I saw a mom with a newborn sitting on some stairs outside of an abandoned building. These three women (all in very different stages of life) really got to me. They were so thankful for what little we gave them.

Today we went to the community to begin building the house. After a rainy morning, and trying to tear down the old house, I found a boy named Juan standing off to the side. Anyone who knows me knows I can't resist children. Some of the women from the group and I went to a clearing and started playing soccer (futbol) with the boys from the community. We eventually took off our shoes (my idea.. sorry, mom) and just went at it. It was so much fun. I got to climb a tree with some of the boys, and then later washed up in the river. To say that was an adventure would be an understatement... While us girls were having all of the fun, the men almost finished the house! It typically takes two full days to tear down/build the house. They got it torn down AND got all of the walls up! Again, God was definitely working.

"Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix you gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways." - Proverbs 4:25-26. This has really been my prayer this week for the rest of my year. Being here makes me realize how blessed I am to have this opportunity and to be on this adventure. I hate going home and getting caught up in the normal high school nonsense. So these past few days have made me very determined not to do that this year. I have come too far and I have seen too much of God's power to just fall back into the normal teenage drama.

If you're friends with me on facebook please go see my status about the family who is staying at the mission house and keep them in your prayers!